Pre-Season Edition of the “Sanctuary Faithful 2010” Power Rankings

What up fellas. After I saw what Trees had to go through with multiples on ESPN, I decided it was easier to just provide a link to this than post it on the site itself (not to mention this thing started small and turned into a novel). Trees good stuff amigo. I would love to have another power rankings around. I gotta start this off saying everyone had a great draft. Even though I got Ferd ranked last, I think he had the best moment at the draft. Good luck this season fellas.

While in the War Room of a fantasy draft (or the Laff basement) it is dam near impossible to keep your head straight.  You have Elvin claiming to blackout after his Miles Austin pick which apparently caused him to take Marques Colston instead of his “true target”.  Ferd is busy poking people and updating his status, and in the meantime drafts 12 quarterbacks.  However I think he did discover the name of our trophy while in the midst of a delicious cloud of smoke … “The Mayflower”.  Like the Juan mentioned, I thought that I went back in time and had the opportunity to sell my BP stock, the way I was trying to get rid of my picks. This with Bossington in the background throwing around pillows looking for his keys instead of realizing he drafted Kellen Winslow in the fifth round.

So as looney as those two hours were, we all know that no matter what moves we make during the season, August 15 was the biggest determiner of “The Sanctuary Faithful 2010.”  If last year someone had drafted Chris Johnson in the first, Aaron Rodgers in the second, Desean Jackson in the third, Cedric Benson in the fourth, Ray Rice in the fifth, Jamaal Charles in the sixth, Steve Smith (Gmen) in the seventh, Miles Austin in the eighth, and Vernon Davis in the ninth I don’t know if they lose a game.  So after the draft it is good to look at everyones squad as a whole and try to determine how that team stacks up against the others. What better way to do it than with a Pre-Season edition of the Power Rankings. (Odds to win the ship in parentheses. Positional Grades take quality of depth into consideration as well as starters.)

1.  The Guru (5-2) – If I’m not hoisting the trophy at the end of this year the Guru title will officially be removed. I have continuously dominated in the regular season, but just can’t finish the job. This year looks to be off to another great start with Turner, Charles, and Foster (steal of the draft) making up a solid RB corp. Moss, Bowe, and a slew of potential breakout Wrs along with Vernon Davis at TE and no weakness can be found. The only question on this team is whether or not my Qbs drink stays pinker than the Easter rabbit.

QB: A-, RB: A, WR: A, TE: A, OVR: A

2.  Sideshow Juan (3-1) – Someone is learning. After last years debacle of a team, Lungs decided to put in some work and draft a solid lineup. Take the #1 Qb in the land, young Rbs, and a stud WR along with a breakout candidate in Floyd, and you have yourself a scary team.  If he can find himself a TE, Sideshow is a serious contender for the title.  Should be a battle for the division.

QB: A+, RB: A, WR: B, TE: D OVR: A-

3.  Jude da Stanky Leg (4-1) – After a loss in the title game last year this organization is coming out with a chip on their shoulder. Matt Forte even returns to bring home the theme of redemption. Pip is a solid QB and another veteran of the complex Jude offense (Even though second round is a reach). With Jennings and Clark catching the rock this team can be dangerous if Rashard can live up to his hype, Ronnie Brown can stay healthy, and either the former Ttech stud steps up or Vjax gets traded.

QB: B+, RB: A-, WR: B, TE: A, OVR: B+

4.  Joe Jameson Sr. (4-1) – After dominating the regular season last year, The Stache fell short in the playoffs. He came back this year with another solid lineup anchored by Andre, S. Smith, Benson, and Deangelo. Put that cast with potential breakout QB Cutler, the toughest nigga with Downs Syndrome to ever live, Reggie Bush minus Kim, Hines Ward and his decent arm, and a supposedly healthy O. Diddy and I am glad the big man isn’t in my division again.

QB: B, RB: B+, WR: A-, TE: B+ OVR: B+

5.  Mike McDermott (11-2) Elvon took a year hiatus, but decided to come back seeking redemption after losing in the championship last year in Fellow’s League (I forget who won). He created quite the buzz in pre-draft talk, but ended up with one of the best foundations in the league with Chris Johnson, Ryan Grant, Miles Austin, and Marquest Colston. With MSW and Felix Jones competing for the flex and this years Brent Celek at tight end, the supporting cast is there. The big question for this squad is whether or not Carson Palmer/Donny Mac can call the shots.

QB: C+, RB: A-, WR: A-, TE: B, OVR: B

6.  Johnny Drama (7-1) – Things are looking brighter for the Ping Pong Champion of L.A., although after the disaster called 2009 anything would be an improvement. Purple Jesus is Purple Jesus, but after that this is a high risk high reward team. One of the risks has already burned him, Rice being out for a sizeable amount of time hurts. Shonne Greene seems to be in line for a lot of looks but he is still very untested. I am high on K² and think that he has a good chance to produce good numbers for a fifth round QB (although not as good as Kellen Winslow). Marshall is a solid WR but if Rice and Bryant cannot play week one does Jacoby Jones or Eddie Royal have to step up into the #2WR role? Chris Cooley is another question mark as a starting tight end. Can’t wait to see whether this team ends up as a boom or a bust by the time December roles around.

QB: B, RB: A-, WR: C+, TE: C+, OVR B-

7.  The Reigning Champ with Merlot Pants (7-1) The Hangover. Trees did it last year and at the draft we all thought Bossington was also headed for a meeting with Mike Tyson’s fist. However when you look over the team it is not all that bad. He has two Gs with Brady and Gore, and a very solid WR in Welker (if he is as healthy as he looks). Spiller and Harrison can fight out the #2RB while OchoCinco and Santana battle for the #2 WR. That is not too shabby. And that is without the steal of the draft … KELLEN WINSLOW IN THE FIFTH. Don’t worry Boss we won’t let the Hat Trick happen.

QB: A, RB: C+, WR: B-, TE: C+, OVR: B-

8.  The 8th Dwarf (9-1) The only true expansion team this year, Fells had Ray Rice slip to him at #4. After that he scooped up Shia LaBeof’s new ride in Megatron. I am not super high on Boldin in the third, but still a solid WR2. Matt Ryan in the fifth was a little early, and Finley in the sixth was solid. Cadillac as a RB2 is a little shaky, but if he becomes their workhorse I think he can be serviceable. Mason, Maroney, Roy Williams, Devin Thomas, and Fred Jackson are going to have to fight it out for the flex spot. Your playing with the big boys now Fells, lets see if your game steps up with the competition.

QB: B-, RB: C+, WR: B, TE: A, OVR: B-

9.  Dean Mayo (7-1) Mauro and Stoner must have talked mad fantasy on the Gamblers Ridge golf cart a few weeks back because they both went with the high risk high reward draft strategy. Nearly every guy on this team has a question along with them, however every single one of them has the ability to produce very well. Jackson and Beanie are both beastly backs on poor offenses, while Forsett showed flashes of his talent at the end of last year. Smith(gmen), Aromashodu, and Maclin are all guys with serious potential. Shaub and Witten are two relatively safe and solid guys.

QB: A-, RB: B, WR: C+, TE: A-. OVR: B-

10.  SocialMedia MonStars (7-1) Mr. Laff was relatively quiet at the draft and now I think I know what the deal was. Either he was out with my boy JaMarcus before the draft or he was searching the Twitter feeds of the world for the hot new draft trends. Either way it worked out decent. Drew Brees is always a good start to a team. Then Dr. Facebook went with the time share running back in a potent offense method with Pierre Thomas, Joey Addai, and Marion Barber. Add in the one of the most talented wideouts in the league (even if he has a garbo QB now), Robert Meachem’s breakout potential, Lee Evans, and Smoketonio Holmes after week 4 and we are on to something. He even stays true to his fanhood by getting his one “homer” pick with Brent Celek at TE.

QB: A, RB: B-, WR: B-, TE: B+, OVR: B-

11.  Bud Fox (9-1) Turco got his target with Peyton back in town. The Sherriff wanted someone he could trust as his right hand man if he was running the show and he got him in Reggie Wayne. After that this mogul invested in two second year backs looking to be the man in their respective offense, the Semi-Seans… Knowshon and Lesean. The second WR position is questionable with Driver and now Berrian fighting it out. The Man on the Cover hopes to battle for that flex spot with the leftover wideouts.  Tony G mans the TE position.

QB: A, RB: B-, WR: C, TE: B OVR: C+

12.  DJ Deadmau5 (12-1) Not many people use their third round pick on a quarterback (Flacco) to sit on the bench behind a 41 year old, but not many people are down with Deadmau5 at first so I got faith. Eagles D in the fifth and Garrett Hartley in the tenth make up some high investments in special teams play. Antonio Gates makes for a great TE, MJD is a stud at RB, and another Semi-Sean (Desean) makes for a good WR1. The #2 at each position and the Flex are all up in the air right now. Those fighting for the spot are Tomlinson, the Migraine Man, McGahee, and Ant Gonzo. My man is going to need to pick up some serious breakout players throughout the season if he wants to get his hand on the Mayflower.

QB: B-, RB: C, WR: C, TE: A, OVR: C

There we have it boys, the pre-season special.  Don’t worry there won’t be any more this long.  Only two weeks till it starts up ….

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